Happy as a Bearded Clam

UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM

As I wipe the sweat from my brow, I’m happy to say that I’ve finished the first draft of the third book in the Dirty White Candy series.  It’s the longest in the series thus far and I really had a difficult time ending it.

Candy goes through many changes in Trading Places.  I’m excited to see how my readers feel about Candy, John and a few other characters when this is all over.

Now that I’m done and sending it off to be printed (I simply cannot edit on a laptop.  It must be on paper,) I’m curious about something.  As a writer, I can do just about anything to my characters.  I can write nearly any story.  As I’ve said before, I write in other genre’s under my given name.

What do you like?  What do you want to read?  Werewolves, shape-shifters and vampires? BDSM? Secret societies?  What gets your panties wet or pops your tent?  Tell me what’s up, other than hard dicks and airplanes.

I value your opinion so much – here’s what I’ll do.  I’ll give away FIVE A.R.C.s (advance reading copies) of my new Dirty White Candy book (eBook only) for my top five choices.

So comment and share.  Momma is interested in what you have to say.

~Much Love,

Anita

It was brought to my attention that many folks wish to stay private – so you can email me at AuthorAnitaCox@yahoo.com if you wish 😉

Horny Humpday Q & A!!!

SESSION NOW CLOSED!  Thank you for all (most) who participated!

 

It’s that time again!  Time to answer questions from my lovely fans and friends.  No real rules.  You can ask me just about anything you want.  I will answer nearly any question.

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This is for adults only.  VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.  Will more than likely contain strong language, offensive topics and the words, dick, cock, pussy or twat every so often.  I may even throw in a CUNT for good measure.

So I’m going to enjoy my friend chicken and Smirnoff while I wait for your questions.  (Don’t judge until you try it!)

Wednesday Night Q & A with Ms. Cox

SESSION NOW CLOSED!  Be sure to submit questions for next week’s Q & A!  Thank you all for visiting.

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It’s HUMP DAY!  That means Q & A with me, Anita Cox.  You can ask me questions about sex, swinging or my books.  Not too much is off limits here.  So fire away.  You can comment below (even anonymously) or send me an email at authoranitacox (at) yahoo (dot) com.

So, while I’m tied up for this hour, I’m all yours.  Remember – the only stupid question is one that is never asked.

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Q & A Time!!!

img-thingSESSION CLOSED.  Thank you for your questions.  Remember, I do take questions by private message on facebook as well as email at authoranitacox (at) yahoo (dot) com.  I hope you enjoyed today’s Q & A!  See you next week.   

 

It’s that time again.  I will attempt to answer all questions I receive.  I am not qualified to give any medical or marital advice, but I will do my very best.  I’ve been receiving questions already.  Here’s what we have so far:

Question #1 – From Angie – 

How long did you consider swinging before you took in that first experience, and how long was it before you felt comfortable with it? What kind of things could a new couple expect to see at an event, and is there anything that newbies seem to be shocked by frequently?

Answer: (Part One) I’m on my second marriage.  I could have NEVER gone here with hubby #1.  I’d already had some girl/girl and 3some experiences.  The husband enjoyed hearing about my naughty college experiences so we already had “story time.”  But he’s a naughty little boy… I digress.  We watched License to Wed.  (Totally recommend this movie!)  Robin Williams is a priest about to marry a couple and he asks the groom-to-be if he would give the wife-to-be a threesome if that would make her happy.  It sparked the conversation… one that I’m so glad we had.

   It took a few months for us to decide to dip our toes in.  We were hooked.  We started with a threesome and went from there.  Something odd happens during swinging.  At first, it stung a bit, seeing the man I love with someone else… then it became a complete turn on.  By the third or fourth time there was no discomfort with it at all.

(Part Two)  First thing to know is that there are different kinds of events.  There are on-premise clubs, which means it’s a building that houses events usually every weekend.  There are off-site clubs, which are generally hotel take-overs or Meet and Greets at bars.  Then there are house parties.  House parties have far less restrictions, but you never know what you’re getting yourself into.

For beginners, it will probably shock you how easy everyone is being naked.  Most people start off in sexy street clothes then change into lingerie after a few drinks.  By the end of the night a lot of people (on-premise clubs) will just be butt ass naked.  Another thing that surprised me was sitting there having a drink and looking over to see some girl on her knees giving a blow job at the table next to us.  I looked at my husband and said, “Would you look at that cock-sucker.”  Because I make jokes when I get nervous.

People talk about sex very openly.  Since we are a society that has learned not to do that, it can take a bit getting used to.  When it comes to “play time” and you need to quickly go over the rules (no face shots please.) That can be awkward when you haven’t been there before.  After a few times, it’s just like saying, “hold the onions.”

Ultimately, my first club experience, I was just very surprised to see how nice people were and how willing they were to help educate newbies, show them the ropes, answer questions and introduce them to other swingers.  Of course, there are asshats anywhere you go, but for the most part, these are five-star folks.  The most important thing to remember is that you are never required to do anything.

The first time my husband and I went, we didn’t play with anyone else.  We just watched, then devoured each other for hours.  (And fucked like bunny rabbits for days afterward.)  There is a sexual electricity to events like that.  Everyone is supercharged, super-sexed and ready to party.  Everyone’s club experience is unique to them.  Take your time.  Dip your toe in the water… it’s nice and warm.

Question #2 from Darcy – My husband is horrible at oral sex.  It feels like an alien is invading my body.  I’ve tried to guide him, but he just doesn’t listen.

Answer:  Darcy… this is a common problem.  If you ARE bi-sexual, consider having a girl show him how it’s done.  If you’re not, this may sound crazy, but grab an orange (or peach or some other fleshy fruit.)  Carve.  Yes, I said carve.  Grab your paring knife and make yourself a clit.  Then do a little demo for him.  It should get him horny and teach him a thing or two about the art of cunnilingus.  If not, and the oral stimulation is just not there (assuming you love your spouse and want to stick together) then skip the oral sex and get a finger vibrator so you can DIY yourself to orgasm during sex.  That’s my best advice.tumblr_lud0e9FHMi1qbamzro1_250

What would I do?  I wouldn’t blow him again until he learned to eat proper pussy.  =O

NEXT!

Question #3 from Nancy SpankMahBehind  Is BDSM allowed in clubs?

Answer: That varies from club to club.  Some clubs have “dungeons” for this sort of play.  However, I have seen it get very awkward when it’s practiced in regular play areas.  Some people are uncomfortable with it and don’t understand what’s going on.  Like any other kink, it’s a taboo some understand, some don’t and some totally disagree with.  I would seek a club with a “dungeon”.  One club I know have has an experienced Dom for ladies who want to try it.

Question #4 from Anonymous  Are you really a woman?

Answer: Yep, complete with a vagina, stretch marks and two spawn walking around with my eyes and features.  Though I’d love to be able to stand and pee…. I fantasize about those moments.

Swing Club 101

As a reminder, I’m taking questions for Wednesday night’s Q & A session.  It can be any question regarding my books, swinging, sex etc.  Not too much is taboo.  If you want to stay private, you only need to tell me so.  You can send me a PM on Facebook, comment anonymously below or send an email to authoranitacox at yahoo dot com.

Okay, with that being said, I get a lot of club questions.  So, I’m going to cover here what to expect, etiquette and the like.  I hope to cover the bases, but if I missed something you were curious about, don’t hesitate to ask.  Questions about swinging in general or questions not related to this post be held for Wednesday night’s Q & A session.

What should I bring?

If you’re going to an on-premise club, you’ll need a lock for the locker.  Most on-premise clubs have somewhere to lock up valuables.  You need to bring a change of clothes.  Most clubs wont’ allow you in the “play areas” in street clothes.  You can bring pj’s, lingerie, boxers etc.  There are clubs that serve alcohol, but most are BYOB.  Most on-premise clubs will have mixers and soda for you.  Check the club’s website for info.

Off premise clubs are held usually in hotels and there is no sex permitted at the party.  This is a place to meet and greet and then go to your own room.

What happens when we first arrive?

You will pay the fee (varies per club) and fill out a membership card.  Your information is kept private, but it is for your protection as the cards usually state you are not media or law enforcement.  There’s also a public nudity provision.  You’ll probably be given a tour.  Some clubs have “host couples” that will show you around and help make you comfortable.  Then just make yourself a drink, sit back and take everything in.

I’m nervous and a little shy.  What should I do?

This is totally normal.  First, take a deep breath.  Smile at people, they will come to you.  If you do get a host couple, they’ll help you along.  Try to force yourself to strike up a conversation.  The easiest question to ask is, “How long have you been coming here?”  Be sure to tell others you are new.  They’ll understand that you are nervous instead of uninterested.

What should I wear?

Whatever makes you feel sexy.  Of course, every club in every state varies.  Start off in a sexy outfit (something you’d wear to a dance club maybe) then when you’re feeling brave, change into something a little more saucy.

I’ve heard other couples make rules.  How do I go about doing that?

Most couples do have rules about who, what, when, where they swing.  You should as well.  If you’ve never had a swing experience before, talk to your partner and set parameters on what is acceptable and what is not.  Do you want to do full swap (exchange partners for everything,) soft-swap (exchange partners for everything but actual sex,) same room, separate room, girl/girl only… will you allow kissing others?  These are all questions you need to think about and discuss before you dive in.

There are no right or wrong answers here.  Everyone’s swinging experience is their own.  Just be certain you both understand limits and expectations.  This can avoid issues down the road.

Be sure you discuss your rules with anyone you play with.  It makes it more comfortable for everyone involved.

Is it okay to attend a party just to see what it’s like?

It’s absolutely okay!  As a matter of fact, I highly recommend it.  People will probably encourage you to join in, dance, talk, laugh etc.  You’ll learn more by participating in the non-sexual aspect your first time.  You can go and only have sex with your spouse (always.)  Just don’t expect any privacy 😉

I’m afraid of jealousy.

It does happen from time to time.  It is the perfect time to solidify your relationship through discussion.  What made you jealous? What can be done to prevent it in the future? While it may be an unpleasant feeling, it isn’t the end of the world and most likely, a simple adjustment to the rules can prevent those feelings in the future.  Just keep an open mind, and listen to your partner when they tell you they felt jealous.  Don’t be dismissive.  You must show each other mutual respect for this to work (and marriage as far as that goes.)

What if someone is making me uncomfortable?

“No” has and will always mean no.  If someone doesn’t take the hint (please don’t hint, just say, “no, thank you,” then go to someone.  The people who checked you in, the host couple, security and tell them. Chances are if an asshole is bothering you, he’s bothering others too.

That does it – I hope I’ve cleared up some of your questions for you.  Until then… I will be back Wednesday at 7 p.m. CST.