I choose

First, I’m choosing to put these images right here of a stunningly beautiful woman for your viewing pleasure.

LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 22: Candis Cayne arrives at the 2009 American Music Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on November 22, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA – NOVEMBER 22: Candis Cayne arrives at the 2009 American Music Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on November 22, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

It isn’t often that I use my platform for something other than encouraging words, sharing the books of my colleagues, or just general sex education such as: Finding your G-Spot, or my Horny Humpday posts where I gave sex tips like turning off your gag reflex, I like to entertain my fans.

Today, however, today I’m reaching out. I’m asking fans to open your minds, broaden your horizons and elevate your humanity.

I’m doing this for 700,000 adults in the United States, and an uncounted number of young adults and teens who are at risk.

I’m choosing to continue my need to spread knowledge in hopes for peace one day for the 700,000 plus. Seven hundred thousand is a large number. What section of the population so huge could possibly need help?

The transgender population. That’s who. People who feel their physiology does not match their soul. People who have been crammed into bodies that feel alien to them.

I know, I know. I’ve heard all of the arguments. But, Anita! They’re pushing the “gay agenda.” (First of all, I don’t know what that is? Does it have glitter?) If the gay agenda is that all humans can be who they are, and be free to marry whatever consenting adult they wish, then yes, they’re pushing the gay agenda. But that’s only one tiny facet here.

I’m not going to try to educate you on what being transgendered means. Nor will I explain the science that says these people ARE actually the gender with which they identify, some biology just went haywire.

What I will do is post some information videos below from an actual doctor. I will also reach out and ask that at lease MY people not share the horrible trans-phobic posts on social media.  That you try to understand that for SOME trans folks, Caitlyn Jenner is a beacon of hope for them (not for all trans folk. They are as diverse as any CIS-gendered folk. CIS means your mind and body agree with what your sex is.)

I ask that you treat these people with common decency and a modicum of respect. That you allow them to work their jobs to feed themselves. They want to be happy, healthy, productive members of society. Just like you and me. They WANT the problem of paying taxes, rather than waiting for their food stamp card to be reloaded.

They deserve respect. Even from those who don’t fully understand what is going on. They deserve understanding as they’re walking a path most wouldn’t have the balls to. They’ve chosen to take the long hard road to be who they feel they are.

So, you want to take it a step further, you say? You want to make them feel as cozy and warm in your environment? Well, try to use their chosen pronoun. If she is transitioning to he. Then try to say he. If you screw up, don’t freak out. Apologize, correct yourself, and move on. They will forgive you. More than that, they’ll be touched that you are trying.

DON’T ask about their sexuality/sex lives. That’s as private and personal as your sexuality and sex life. Unless they open the door to questions (and a lot will, but some are still finding their way or BELIEVE IT OR NOT, are conservative,) then fire away. Some are very happy to explain the Ps and Qs of their personal business.

DON’T ask about their physiology. Look, all of the hormones…those are super expensive. Surgery, well, holy shit expensive. A decent boob job is around $10k. Now, reversing the genitals… that’s a hellova lot more and there’s a lot of pain involved. Also, it’s like…none of your business, unless they wish to discuss it with you.

Okay…now… “not all trans people are gay.” That’s a tricky statement. If a trans person was born a man, is attracted to women, but feels like  a woman that person starts off straight, but after the transition is technically gay. So… there’s that.

Some do start off homosexual. Again, some NOT all. This is a very diverse group.

All I’m asking for is that you consider them human. That you set your own personal beliefs aside and treat them like human beings. That you not spread harmful language. That you set an example for our youth… if they hear you speaking hatefully about the transgendered population, they’re going to think it’s okay.

Most importantly, please remember our youth. They are already at risk in today’s society. Transgendered youth are at an increasingly high rate for risk of suicide. If just ONE of you treat them with kindness… you could prevent that death. Yes, a smile and kind word really can change that person’s whole day. It starts with one. You.

Oh, and I chose to post the pictures above of Candice Cayne…a beautiful Trans woman for…reasons.

Now for the education:

3 thoughts on “I choose

  1. Thank you so much for this post, for your eloquent support of transgender people as “real people”, and for linking to the Dr. Doc videos. I’d not encountered them before but will certainly use them to help others to try to understand the issues involved.
    One other thing I feel does need to be made clear though.
    I feel we, (by which I mean the media in particular and, from that, society as a whole), should be very wary of always portraying transgender people by way of images of Candis, Caitlyn or even the (really handsome) guy in the first video you link to. Very few transgender people are actually lucky enough to be born into bodies which can so easily be adapted to reflect their true gender in a way that makes them as photogenic to the point of having that “Wow” factor, or have the vast financial resources to add the additional cosmetic surgery that the “beautiful” women we so often see can afford.
    The vast majority of transgender folk will actually never attain those standards, and some possibly would never wish to.
    Certainly from the point of view of MtF transgenders I feel that a large number of us know that even with hair removal, voice training, continual use of hormones, (irrespective of genital surgery), we will have a lifelong struggle to “pass” as female. But that doesn’t mean we will ever give up on being who we truly are. I know that I, for one, fall into that category.
    It would do the transgender movement a great service, with regard to acceptance, if the media showed more images of what one might call “normal” transgender folk so that we become a greater part of daily life to the cis-majority in society. When you walk down the street you see very few cis-women who look like Candis, so why do we always portray trans-women as that?
    I’m going to be quite an ugly old bat, (such is life), but I’ll still stand proud in my female form because I live by the motto:
    It’s not about being “Miss World”, it’s just about being “Miss”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comments!

      I don’t know many women, CIS or otherwise, that look like Candis. I certainly don’t look that good.

      I said in my post, “Oh, and I chose to post the pictures above of Candice Cayne…a beautiful Trans woman for…reasons.”

      The reason was that I knew some straight, transphobic dude would make a stupid comment. And he did. “Breastfeed me.” He was getting a stiffy over a Transwoman. It was merely for my enjoyment.

      It’s a challenge to be a Trans Ally properly. Hell, proper isn’t even the right word. It’s a challenge to do it well.

      I’m sure I’m making mistakes. I’m even more certain I’ll make more. But all I can do is try. I can see that you see that, so I’m happy.

      Most importantly, I’m a mom. I take that title seriously and hope that I’m at least raising educated and compassionate humans. Then they can spread/share that compassion and understanding with their young friends who will grow to accept people they may not understand. It’s a goal… a lofty goal, but a goal.

      Again, thank you for stopping by and for your important words. Have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

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