Oh I haven’t been this angry in a while! I will try to keep the swearing to a minimum.
So I read THIS STUPID FUCKING ARTICLE on Facecrack today. It’s entitled
I saw that a few of my personal friends had shared the article so I opened it up. Seriously…this is being passed around as gospel… and I’m going to shred it for you. Because I can but mostly, because I SHOULD.
First, the article was written and posted on http://www.nurturingmarriage.org/ That’s right, Nurturing Marriage. The title of the site leads you to believe that these fucktards are nurturing marriage. It was reposted on Family Share…insinuating that their giving advice to families on how to act. Grr. Queue the dragons.
Problem #1 All marriage is not created equal. What works for me, may not (and probably would not) work for you. A one-size-fits-all guide to marriage is a guide to a train wreck, the same way parenting guides are enormous failures at creating the perfect family. Kids are individuals. What works for one…won’t work for the other. I’m a living testament to this as my two children couldn’t be any more different unless they grew up on opposite sides of the planet. My marriage to husband #2 is MUCH healthier than marriage to husband #1 and I’m happier for it.
Now, let’s address this STUPID FUCKING ARTICLE one step at a time.
Problem #2 The article lists the following as ugly things husbands do to their wives. Much of this is flat out abuse be it psychological abuse or just verbal. Don’ts of the article are as such: 1)be critical
Choose to see the good in your wife. Compliment her on all the things she is doing right.
Holy fucking backward thinking Batman. First of all, this assumes the wife is doing something wrong. Uhh…who are you to say what is right or wrong or that some assmunch dictator has the right to deem your choice in dinner, attire, car purchase…anything really is WRONG. Fuck you.
2) Don’t be controlling. Response: No flying fucking eagle shit. In most situations if someone is controlling you – -they’re being an abusive fuckwad and it’s time to bolt. Husbands don’t do this to their wives. Little men with little dicks do it to victims. Links for victims at the bottom.
3) Treat you like an object. (See response in #2)
4) Doesn’t give you the time of day. Then why are you married again? See response in #2
5) I’ll address at the end… along with #6
7) Has too high expectations. Are we seeing a 50 shades pattern here? No fucking shit, jack. Because you are not the King of anything, not your own domain unless you have a queen and a queen wouldn’t take your shit!
8) Doesn’t help around the house. Different strokes for different folks, Rose. When my husband is working 16 hour shifts and can barely hold his iced tea to his lips at the end of the day, I don’t expect him to do the dishes. But who the fuck are you to say what’s right? Asshole.
9) Loses his temper often. DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. FUCKING RUN. This is a huge indicator of abusive behavior, lack of self-control etc. Get the fuck out now, BEFORE you get the black eye, bruised ribs and damaged self-esteem. No one deserves this. Also, see response in #2
10) Lies and Cheats. Again…go. Don’t walk, run in the opposite direction. Husbands don’t do this to wives. Little boys with little penises do this to victims.
Let’s go back to 5 & 6…shall we? 5) Watches Porn and 6) Uses Dirty Language. Book Porn, Romance, Erotic literature all have dirty language. Okay, some sweet romance doesn’t but really… it’s the same damned premise. Whether I say COCK or blue veined monster, I’m still referring to the penis and there’s no goddamned difference. Since book porn is a BILLION dollar a year business, the likelihood that the twat who wrote this article reads smut is pretty high. So FUCK YOU and your aversion to dirty language.
Let’s talk about sex…shall we? Sex and PORN. I’ve heard them…the uptight little hags that consider their husband’s porn watching to be cheating. No only are you shaming your husband for a very natural curiosity, you could be potentially robbing you AND him of a lot.
Look, I get it. There’s a lot of porn out there that’s pretty fucking degrading with some really horrendous actors. I don’t like face shots. I don’t like it when the girl not only looks like she’s having an awful time, but that she’s uncomfortable or scared. I find CONSENT to be a very hot quality to sex. Nothing better than someone BEGGING you to fuck them.
I digress. Problem #3 There’s a lot of porn out there. More than 31 Flavors…or 50 Shades of Abuse. There’s softcore where you don’t have to see the sloppy stuff. There’s hardcore…where you do. There are fetish videos for those who enjoy a particular kind of kink and the list really does go on. Labeling all porn as bad or awful is not only wrong, it’s judgmental and wholly inaccurate. OH, and BDSM isn’t abuse. Educate yourself.
Problem #4 This whole article is one giant finger pointing escapade. Someone is blamed.
Problem #5 It’s all about shame, especially with #’s 5 &6.
Instead of shaming your spouse, try education. Listen to Dr. Doe (a clinical sexologist) about Porn. Porn viewing WITH your partner can add an additional layer of excitement and sexuality between you and your partner(s). Do not allow STUPID FUCKING ARTICLES like this lead you to believe that watching porn is dangerous, unhealthy or wrong. Yes, as with anything, you can develop an addiction. It can happen (as with sugar, caffeine, chocolate etc.) http://youtu.be/3ovjlFX0DHY
Finally, Problem #6, this article is damaging and instead of offering resources for women who are experiencing some of the abuse they’re describing, they’re simply referring to the entire ball of wax as a marital problem. Abuse is not, I repeat NOT a marital problem. Abuse, is a victim’s problem with a criminal’s activity. Plain and fucking simple.
Education is knowledge and knowledge is power. Educate yourselves. Empower yourselves to be stronger and better men and women (and those in between.) In the words of Dr. Doe. “Stay curious.” Oh, and don’t turn to STUPID FUCKING ARTICLES for advice on your marriage. If you’re being abused, get out of the situation because IMHO abusers never change anything other than the victim they are abusing.
Links for Victims of Domestic Violence:
Women aren’t always the victims. National Hotline.