Find your Zen in Bed

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Communication is key in any relationship.  This is true in sexual relationships as well.  Frustration can mount for both men and women when they aren’t getting what they so desperately want.

Now the want can change from person to person.  But the fact remains the same.  If you can open up your communication with one another, you can not only learn what drives your partner wild, you may very well learn a few things about yourself.

So how do you start?  Well, depending on your comfort level, here are a few suggestions for you.

Decide what you want but are not getting now.

Do you want more oral pleasure? Slower pace?  Start off easy.  Figure out what you want.

Naughty Lite

I know from chatting with some of my fans that some of you have never done anything the least bit dramatic, so diving into, say… a threesome is a bit of a stretch at this point.  So what can you do?  Start off small, something less intimidating.  Try talking naughty during sex.  Do something you’ve never done.  When you come up from behind him for that hug, lick his ear. Tell him you want him – NOW.  Go somewhere private and get yourself revved up and let him feel your sense of urgency.  Men, switch up positions, let her know she feels good – call her naughty.  Tell her you’ve been thinking about her all day and can’t wait to feel her pressed up against you.

More experienced people will tell you…

They didn’t start off sex-crazed maniacs shoving various items up their bums.  They started somewhere.  They took a risk, the leap and tried something new.  Go ahead, try it.  Driving somewhere with your spouse down the freeway/interstate?  We’ve all seen the signs from the road for adult toy shops.  Shock your significant other and pull in… walk around.  Don’t be afraid to giggle or point out what interests you.  It can be an education for you and your significant other.

Remove the fear

The biggest reason people get stuck in a rut is due to fear.  Take the fear away by putting a name to it.  When you talk to your partner, let them know you’re nervous, fearful of {insert item here} but you want to try XYZ.  I find what people fear the most is a bad response from their spouse/significant other.  Remember, they too are human, with fantasies and desires.  Be what they desire. Let them be your muse.

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