1) I could stand up to pee. This opens up a lot more possibilities on locations in which I could pee. Also, I wouldn’t have to worry what I’m going to wipe with when in the woods, surrounded by Poison Ivy, Poison Oak and Poison Sumac. Side Note: I can only identify Poison Ivy.
2. I could write my name…in pee. Okay, this technically could be 1 a) but I have no 1 b) so deal with it.
3. I could earn more for the work I do.
4. I would never be called a slut, or a bitch… though I do enjoy those terms immensely and don’t find them to be offensive. I want someone to call me a dick for once. Yes! Someone call me a dick… or an asshole… or a prick. Please, something new.
5. A blowjob would equal pleasure…not TMJ and dry mouth.
6. I would be guaranteed an orgasm.
7. Porn would be made…for me.
8. No one would look at me funny when I adjust.
9. It would be totally acceptable not to shave for a week.
10. Once a month, I wouldn’t turn into a chocolate consuming-death eating- bipolar-schizophrenic- weepy maniac who bled like someone stabbed me in the balls.