Top Reasons I wish I were a Man

1) I could stand up to pee.  This opens up a lot more possibilities on locations in which I could pee.  Also, I wouldn’t have to worry what I’m going to wipe with when in the woods, surrounded by Poison Ivy, Poison Oak and Poison Sumac.  Side Note: I can only identify Poison Ivy.

2.  I could write my name…in pee.  Okay, this technically could be 1 a) but I have no 1 b) so deal with it.

3. I could earn more for the work I do.

4. I would never be called a slut, or a bitch… though I do enjoy those terms immensely and don’t find them to be offensive.  I want someone to call me a dick for once.  Yes!  Someone call me a dick… or an asshole… or a prick.  Please, something new.

5.  A blowjob would equal pleasure…not TMJ and dry mouth.

6. I would be guaranteed an orgasm.

7. Porn would be made…for me.

8. No one would look at me funny when I adjust.

9.  It would be totally acceptable not to shave for a week.

10. Once a month, I wouldn’t turn into a chocolate consuming-death eating- bipolar-schizophrenic- weepy maniac who bled like someone stabbed me in the balls.

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