SESSION NOW CLOSED! Be sure to submit questions for next week’s Q & A! Thank you all for visiting.
***************************************
It’s HUMP DAY! That means Q & A with me, Anita Cox. You can ask me questions about sex, swinging or my books. Not too much is off limits here. So fire away. You can comment below (even anonymously) or send me an email at authoranitacox (at) yahoo (dot) com.
So, while I’m tied up for this hour, I’m all yours. Remember – the only stupid question is one that is never asked.
Welcome to Anita's Den 
Feel free to visit last weeks session to see what sort of questions have been asked. https://authoranitacox.wordpress.com/2013/03/06/q-a-time/
LikeLike
I’m terrible at “giving face”. How do I get better?
LikeLike
Every woman is different. There are different shaped lady bits and this all can be confusing.
First thing is first… try to ask her what she likes. Though some still have issues chatting about sex.
Next, one good rule of thumb is that if her legs are wide open and she’s grinding into you…she probably digs what you’re doing…so keep doing it.
If her legs are shut, she’s not responding or making noise, chances are she doesn’t like what you’re doing. So try something else.
Watch some girl/girl porn. While it’s not 100% accurate, you can get some pointers. Gently slapping between her legs will increase blood flow and stimulation.
Be wary of things such as spitting… we know you guys dig gross shit in your porn…but a lot of us find spitting to be vile.
LikeLike
What is the best way to talk to your spouse about wanting to try a dp…whether adding another guy or using a toy?
LikeLike
Man….these questions are the hardest. The reason is, you never know how an individual will react. Guys are visual creatures. So I do suggest porn a lot. When a DP scene is on, ask if he finds it hot. If he does, then ask if he’d like to try it. Some guys suffer from real homophobia and the thought that their man-berries might touch makes them queasy. If your man is a freak… it may be easy to talk to him…. if he’s more reserved, it’s going to be like pulling teeth.
Good luck on your DP adventure!
LikeLike
What “toys” do you suggest being used for your first time at anal play?
LikeLike
Something very thin. If you’re used to your “exit only” being a one way street, the door will slam shut and the burning and stretching sensation can hurt like hell. They make anal play toys in short and thin versions for ass-virgins. Plenty….plenty….plenty of lube! Be sure you’re already worked up too, that helps.
LikeLike
I can’t find your post on how not to gag… Can you please tell us again?
LikeLike
Certainly. First, this only works with your left hand. Hold your palm up (like you’re swearing in for testimony.) Now, take your thumb and fold it in. Now wrap your other four fingers tightly around your thumb and squeeze. You don’t need a ton of pressure here… you don’t want to break your thumb.
Now take your index finger on your right hand and cram it down your throat. See! No gagging 😉
LikeLike
what is the best way to get your partner to start spanking you?
LikeLike
I just yelled, “SMACK MY ASS!” Worked for me 😉
LikeLike
Honestly, this one takes some communication. Otherwise, you could end up with a bruised ass and ego. Tell him to start lightly…then tell him “harder” until you reach your tolerance.
Then give him some books!
LikeLike
Do you have a favorite lube that is good for anal?
LikeLike
They make “Anal Ease” which has something in there to help the bum.
LikeLike
What do you think about glass toys?
LikeLike
They’re easier to sanitize, but I don’t really like them. They are too hard for me. It all depends on preference. I generally also warm my toys in warm water first….to body temperature. A cold toy up the hoo-haa is no fun.
LikeLike
what you suggest to get a vanilla partner interested in being more adventurous?
LikeLike
A true vanilla will not be interested in going crazy. But talk, talk, talk… The best time to talk about this stuff is when he/she is already horny. A little alcohol (or weed for you folks in Washington and Colorado) to ease nerves couldn’t hurt. If you have friends that are into the “lifestyle” then say, “You know so and so said….(insert story here) was really hot.”
I know it’s difficult, but if your partner isn’t willing, your options are limited.
LikeLike
If someone is having a hard time getting up even after its been sucked , teased, etc… is there anything you can suggest using to improve the situation ?
LikeLike
There are many over the counter products, as well as prescription drugs if the plumbing is failing.
There could be an underlying health issue (high blood pressure is a big one.) They should talk to their doctor if they can’t get past half-mast.
LikeLike
What is the best way to find a 3 person to add for a 3 way if you don’t want to “use” a friend?
LikeLike
This is a GREAT question. I like to keep my personal friends out of my sex life. Unicorns (single bi-sexual females) are difficult to find. There are websites out there for those looking for playmates. SLS (swinglifestyle) dot com is a good one. You may get discouraged at first because there are a TON of fake people in the world. But eventually, you will find one that is like-minded.
You can also go to gay bars… some lesbians would disagree, but it’s worked. There are a lot of bi-sexual women who go to lesbian bars because they’re tired of men’s shit (sorry guys). They’re horny just like the rest of us.
LikeLike
What do you think is easy way to spice up a sex life?
What would you suggest to introduce to get your partner to respond.?
LikeLike
Trying new things together is always hot. You can go to a swing club and just watch (it’s live sex!) Date Night. Role Playing… I actually did a post on this one. https://authoranitacox.wordpress.com/2013/02/26/keeping-the-fire-in-the-bedroom/
LikeLike
I don’t know how to get an unresponsive partner to respond…. for that, you’ll have to pay a marital therapist!
LikeLike
How would you suggest a threesome with another woman to your husband? Especially if he’s in to the whole monogamy thing? NOT that I am complaining, just want to see what its like.
LikeLike
Monogamy doesn’t have to preclude this activity. If you are still married and keep the emotions JUST BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU… then you can still be monogamous. It’s the 22nd century for fucks sake.
Anyway, I’d mention all the benefits to him… 4 boobies, if he’s a boob man, 2 booties, if he’s a booty man… and all the sex he can handle. I did date a guy long ago that thought women together were gross… I never understood that… but that’s why he’s an EX!
It can be fun, but he’s got to be on board or you’re going to have a ton of issues down the road.
LikeLike
What is the best way to work through jealousy issues when entering an open relationship?
LikeLike
By open relationship do you mean swinging? Or do you mean you all have date night with others?
LikeLike
I’ve tried to stimulate my G-spot with a vibrator, or my fingers before. Is it possible that I don’t have feeling there, or am I doing it wrong? I feel the lump, and I rub on it back and forth, but I don’t get any stimulation? What is your suggestion. I don’t think it has ever been stimulated before. Not by me, and surely by a male partner. Help!!!
LikeLike
Hmmm….a broken Gspot? Are you already aroused when you try?
LikeLike
Maybe not. So is that the answer. Make sure I’m aroused first.
LikeLike
Yes, arousal increases the blood flow, swells your G-Spot and THEN you can reach a mind-blowing orgasm. Otherwise, it can actually feel irritating (remember the trip to the Gyno… as soon as he puts that cold ass thing inside you feel pressure and the urge to PEE!
LikeLike
I have done some research on clubs close to me and they all have pretty much standard information. My main worry is protection., with so many diseases out there that is one thing that really scares me. What do you recommend? And also, are there any clubs that use some kind of face masks not to be recognized?
LikeLike
If you’re worried about recognition…travel. We go to a club an hour away from home for that very reason.
Your only way to avoid everything is to be celibate. Condoms are good but nothing is full proof. Avoid seminal fluid in your mouth (don’t blow him to finale). I’d also avoid any anal play in the club if you’re very worried about it due to the possibility of tears.
It is a scary world out there. If it doesn’t look healthy don’t touch it… I am very aware there are things we cannot see. I’m just saying – always use protection (condoms and dental dams) and stay away from funny looking peckers.
LikeLike
I’ve heard pineapples enhance the taste in your hooha, if its true does that pertain to all sweet fruits?
LikeLike
Pineapple, peaches and strawberries all have a pleasant sweet effect on your delicate little flower. Eat plenty of yogurt too to keep healthy bacterial levels.
LikeLike
Also – avoid onions, garlic or other odorous food for at least 24 hours before.
LikeLike
What is the fastest way to get your partner hard after he has cummed for round two?
LikeLike
Give the dude a break! LOL Some guys can’t even stiffen up after cumming the first time.
LikeLike
If a man shaves his pubic area , what do you suggest they use to avoid irritation as the hair grows back in ?
LikeLike
When me and my boyfriend have sex, there are times that he cums right before me! There are times where I wish I could cum faster, but sometimes the only way is when he is eating me out. Is there a way I can cum faster so I can cum with him???
LikeLike